


How to be a good leader

by YorkandDelta



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleepy Cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 05:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7495545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YorkandDelta/pseuds/YorkandDelta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wash is just trying to get his team to respect him. He thinks he needs to hide a few things about himself to do that, but maybe he doesn't need to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to be a good leader

It all started a month after they crash landed in yet another box canyon in the middle of nowhere. Wash finally decided that, as long as he was in the make-shift “Blue Base” it would be safe to take his helmet off to sleep and eat. His decision may have been influenced by a certain insufferable soldier in cyan armour calling him the “paranoid ex-special ops guy”. Wash thought Tucker may respect him more if he could show the team that he was more like them. After all, the team dynamic before Wash had joined definitely skewed more to the friends side. Whatever Wash thought the reaction was going to be when the team saw him without his helmet for the first time was going to be, it certainly wasn’t the reaction he got.

“Dude! Where is your helmet and how are you not dying?!” Was all Wash heard before Caboose’s heavy hand clamped down on Wash’s mouth. “Do not breathe Agent Washingtub! I do not want the poison bugs climbing into your lungs!” Despite Caboose’s strength, Wash was able to break out of Caboose’s grasp and ask “What the hell are you guys talking about?”

“We were talking about you not wearing a helmet out here. I thought that humans couldn’t breathe on other planets without their helmets, but I guess that isn’t the case here because there is no way you would be that stupid if it was. I guess you would also be dead if it was.”

“Wow, that is not even slightly true. I wonder if they told you that so that you wouldn’t realize that Alpha couldn’t take his off. But no, anywhere that the UNSC has colonized has breathable air. Terraforming without compromising the local flora and fauna… Do you know what? Nevermind. What did Caboose mean about poison bugs?”

“Oh, that is what we told him to make him keep his helmet on. We started talking about poison air but he didn’t get it so Church told him bugs would crawl into his mouth, especially when he was asleep. Don’t get me started on the problems that caused. But do you seriously mean to tell me I don’t have to wear this stupid helmet all the time?”

“Yes, that is exactly what I am telling you. You don’t have to wear any of your armour in fact, but you still should just in case of emergency.”

“Fuck that, dude! What is the worst that can happen here?”

And that conversation is the reason why Agent Washington was in this mess: “For the love of God Private, stop sleeping naked!” It wasn’t that Wash had never seen someone naked, the showers in the army are anything but private, so it wasn’t his innocence getting corrupted that Wash was worried about. No, it was this particular soldier Wash wished would cover up. He did not need the distraction of imagining how Tucker’s aqua tattoos would look rippling across his skin as he trained. 

And that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that Tucker was taking every opportunity to be out of his armour. Wash wouldn’t kid himself that his wish that Tucker would wear his helmet again was because he was worried about Tucker getting shot at in this secluded spot. He wanted Tucker’s helmet back on because Wash was falling for the aqua soldier and that was not a good thing. Wash had seen Tucker out of his helmet on the ship, but not for very long and never up close. But now he had ample opportunity to admire the other man’s face and Wash was starting to realize how attractive Tucker really was. His blue eyes contrasting with his dark skin, his dimples when he laughed, and above all his brilliant smile were making Wash equal parts jealous and attracted to the shorter man. Jealous because Wash couldn’t remember the last time he felt like letting his guard down and really laughing. The attraction part was a bit new and scary to Wash because he had never met anyone he felt so hopelessly in love with. And it was hopeless. Tucker may be his subordinate, which would make anything Wash wanted to do morally questionable, but in some ways he was completely superior to the grey-clad soldier; if even a quarter of what Tucker said about his sex life was true then Tucker was way out of Wash’s league. Who would want an emotionally damaged, “paranoid ex- special ops guy” with scars drawn on his body like one of Caboose’s attempts at colouring? Certainly not Tucker. So Wash tried to give up making the team think of him as a friend instead of a superior, he reasoned it was better to keep his distance before he was too far gone on a man who would never care about Wash the same way.

He tried, but he failed. The two soldiers had gotten in the routine of sitting on the roof of the base after the day’s work had been done, just talking and watching the sunset. That was how Wash learned about Juniour and Tucker’s life before joining Blue Team. Wash even surprised himself by opening up and telling Tucker some details about his life back before Freelancer. And it wasn’t long before Wash felt comfortable talking about Freelancer itself. Only the funny stories, like the grappling-hook-to-the-balls story and the time York attempted to shave off Wyoming’s mustache that left York limping for a week. Wash realized that he was starting to smile and laugh again thanks to Tucker. But he was afraid to tell the man about the bad things. Hoping to hide the baggage he carried so that Tucker wouldn’t get scared off.

That plan also failed one night when Wash’s nightmares were particularly bad and he found himself jerked awake and covered in sweat. He hoped he hadn’t been screaming this time but that hope was soon dashed as he heard a knock at the door. The knock was quickly followed by a “Hey man, can I come in?” After a minute of quiet during which Wash prayed Tucker would just go away the door opened. “Dude, you awake?” Tucker asked even though he could clearly see Wash sitting up on his bed with his head in his hands. 

“Tucker, just leave.” he managed to say without giving away how close he was to tears. Memories of the Allison he never knew mixing with his own memories of shooting South in the head and the bodies of his friends he was forced to encounter as Recovery One. In spite of the command Tucker came and sat down beside Wash. 

“Needing help sometimes won’t ruin your ‘I’m so much better than you, look how many push-ups I can do, I am a Freelancer blah blah blah’ image you know. We’ve all been there. Tell me what you need so I can help.” 

“I need you to get the hell out of my room so I can get back to sleep, Private.” 

“Bullshit! I know you aren’t going back to sleep, I’ve heard you getting out of bed and pacing the base at all hours of the night before. I thought you were just an insomniac but it is because of PTSD isn’t it?”

“I swear to god Private Tucker if you don’t -”  
“No, don’t ‘Private Tucker’ me. Not here in your bed. (Unless you’re into that, bow chicka wow wow). You can pretend to be my fucking CO when we’re doing drills but off duty you’re my god damned friend.” 

Tucker’s eyes flashed with fury and Wash realized it must be closer to dawn than he thought if he could see Tucker’s eyes that clearly. Then Tucker looked away and said in a soft voice “I care about you, man. Don’t push me away to save your pride. I am going to care about you and respect you no matter what. You are way past the point of turning me away because of something you can’t change, you’re stuck with me no matter what fucked up thing your brain is trying to cope with.”

Wash was stunned. It was like Tucker knew exactly what Wash feared would happen if he opened up. “I don’t think I can talk about this right now Pri- Tucker.”

“You don’t have to, dude. I’m not rushing you or forcing you to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I can just be your shoulder to cry on if that is what you need. And you don’t have to worry about losing your reputation, I’m not a gossiping dick. Plus you may not know this but the Reds deal with this too. Sarge was in some kind of special ops before this all started. Helljumpers or some shit. The reason he hates Grif so much is because Grif is the only one who can calm him down in a panic attack. I only know because I saw it happen. He usually starts by giving Sarge a hug. Would you like a hug Wash?”

Lost for words Wash just nodded. He knew that after the emotions of his nightmare all he wanted to do was reassure himself that someone was there. Tucker wrapped his arms around Wash and his cheeks burned, partly from the long repressed desire at this contact and partly out of embarrassment that Tucker would feel how badly he was shaking. After a few minutes the shaking stopped and Tucker let out a yawn. 

“Do you think you could sleep like this if we lay down.”

Wash had to clear his throat before answering. “Maybe. We can try it.” 

He couldn’t sleep of course, but it was calming to be held in the arms of this beautiful man. Wash decided that just this once he could distract himself from the thoughts of the past by imagining him and Tucker curled up like this in different world, for a very different reason. Wash was lying on his back with Tucker’s arm draped across his chest, the darker man’s head on his shoulder. After a while, Wash was sure the darker man was fast asleep so he decided it wouldn’t hurt to indulge in his secret crush and kiss the other man’s forehead. He hadn’t anticipated the other man’s reaction and was surprised when Tucker smiled in his sleep and pulled his arm tighter around Wash. Wash was even more surprised when Tucker murmured 

“Yeah, Wash, baby. I like that.” 

Washington stiffened up, in more ways than one “Uhh, Tucker, are you awake?” 

Tucker’s eyes snapped open and he looked at Wash with a horrified expression on his face as he propped himself up on his elbow. “Please tell me I didn’t just do something embarrassing like talking in my sleep.” he pleaded. 

“I won’t tell you then.” 

Tucker pulled as far away from Wash as he could in the small bed and buried his face in the pillow. “Oh God, I am so sorry. Please forgive me and add this to the list of things we are going to pretend never happened.” 

“That is probably for the best. I think I will be fine on my own until morning” Wash agreed as he sat up. He was feeling all kinds of emotions and being exhausted from the night’s panic attack was not helping. 

“Oh man. I so fucked up. This was not how I was planning for you to find out. I need you to know that I didn’t just come in here tonight and say all those things because I was trying to get in your pants. They were all true and if you ever need me for anything I will be there for you and I won’t make it weird for you I promise!” The words spewed from Tucker’s mouth faster and faster so Wash interrupted. 

“Wait, what? What exactly did I just find out?” Both men were sitting on opposite sides of the bed staring at each other. 

“You- That I- Didn’t I just…” Tucker stammered and then looked down as he played with the bed sheets. “I guess I have embarrassed myself enough that I may as well just say it then. Dude, I don’t just care about you. I care FOR you. I have been trying to figure out how to woo you but now you probably aren’t going to want to look at me anymore. I’m sorry.” He rose to get out but stopped when Wash put his hand on his arm. 

“Tucker, are you actually serious?” 

“Yeah, dude. I am surprised you haven’t noticed me flirting with you for the past few weeks. I haven’t been subtle.” 

“But why?” 

Tucker looked confused but sat back down on the bed “What do mean ‘but why’? Have you seen yourself? You’re gorgeous! And you have made me feel more at home here in this Godawful canyon than I have anywhere else. I can talk to you about my life and I know you won’t think any worse of me and you didn’t give me that weird look I get from everybody else when I told you about Junior. You make me feel comfortable. I wish I could do the same for you.

“You do. Tucker, I haven’t opened up to anyone as much as I have to you. There is still some shit I am not ready to talk about, but you make me feel safe”

Disbelief coloured Tucker’s face. “You-you mean you feel the same way? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?!”

“Because I didn’t know how you felt. How could I possibly think someone like you would want someone like me.”

Tucker heard the insecurity in Wash’s voice and gently cupped his cheek as he answered. “Wash ‘someone like me’ is a dumbass who never did anything useful in his life and ‘someone like you’ is a badass who has lived through so much and is still fighting. I’d be crazy not to want someone like you!” And with those words Tucker brought their lips together in a sweet kiss. 

Wash’s heart beat faster as he pulled Tucker into a tight embrace and deepened the kiss. Tucker scooted closer and wrapped his arms around the taller man. After a minute of breathless kisses passed between the two soldiers Tucker pulled away and leaned his forehead against the blond man’s. “I actually don’t want to screw this up with you, so I am going to break character a bit and make you wait before we go any farther.” 

“Hmmm?” was all Wash could manage and he felt like he was getting dizzy from all the unexpected twists and turns the night had taken. Or maybe his head was spinning from that amazing kiss but Wash would never admit that to Tucker. 

“Yeah. I am serious when I say that I don’t want you thinking I just smoot-talked my way into your bed. I want you to know that I will be there for the rough times because I care about you and that the other stuff can be separate if you want it to be. So just cuddles tonight, and if you want to get into my pants later you have an open invitation.” With that the shorter man lay back down the way they were and sighed before snuggling in and falling asleep. Wash spent the rest of the night with a big smile on his face and actually felt well rested when it was time to get up and ready for the day.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to practice writing fiction, and with what better than with fan fic? I hope you all enjoyed my first work. It was supposed to get racy but I don't know how to write smut. Yet. Comments and criticism are as appreciated of course :)


End file.
